


Bullet Hell

by RakshaTheDemon



Category: Frozen (2013)
Genre: (but only technically gun violence), Gen, Gun Violence, Guns, Humor, domestic assassin au, minor anna/kristoff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-15
Updated: 2015-03-15
Packaged: 2019-03-27 10:38:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13879110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RakshaTheDemon/pseuds/RakshaTheDemon
Summary: Set in the Domestic Assassin universe: Kristoff thinks it would be fun to teach Anna how to shoot, and Elsa gets dragged along. How is a trained assassin supposed to convince everyone she's never held a gun in her life?Originally posted on tumblr.





	Bullet Hell

Elsa wanted to scream.  She really did.

It had been  _forty minutes_  and Kristoff was still blathering on about basic gun safety.  Which, admittedly, wouldn’t be a bad thing if Elsa was  _actually_  new to all this.  But since she could field-strip and reassemble her own guns while _blindfolded_ , getting a lesson on things like using the safety was aggravating.  

But Anna was also there, and she  _did_  need the lesson.  Knowing she was benefiting from the lecture made it much more bearable for Elsa.  Rather than think of it as being patronized, she chose to see it as her merely being polite while Kristoff taught Anna. Much less aggravating that way.

Still  _pretty_  aggravating, though.

She suppressed a sigh.  This was likely to become a problem.  Elsa had years of experience, not just at shooting in general, but in precision marksmanship.  And Kristoff had enough experience himself to know the difference between a real beginner and someone just pretending.  She might be able to fool him for a little while, but the longer they stayed here at the range the greater the chances he would realize she knew what she was doing.  And  _that_  revelation would lead to all sorts of uncomfortable questions, starting with “Why would Elsa lie about using guns?”

Of course, this whole thing could have been avoided if Anna had just listened when Elsa said she wasn’t interested in learning to shoot.  But no, Anna had gotten it into her head that this would be a good bonding exercise, and thus it was Elsa’s duty as a sister to go along with it.  She couldn’t even use work as an excuse, because she was on a week-long forced vacation and Anna knew it.  You get caught sleeping in  _one_ air vent…

Eventually Kristoff stopped talking, presumably because he’d ran out of ridiculously basic concepts to teach them.  Elsa did her best to act like she’d been paying attention the whole time.

“So, who wants to go first?”

Anna jumped up and down on the balls of her feet.  "Ooh, me!  Can I?“

"Knock yourself out,” Elsa said, gesturing to the gun that Kristoff had set on the bench.  

“This is a pretty light one,” Kristoff said, “so it shouldn’t have too much kickback.”  They all put ear protection on, and then he spent a few moments adjusting Anna’s grip.  Once satisfied he stepped back and gave her a thumbs up.  

She fired, completely missing the target.  

Anna put the gun down carefully, and then ripped the ear protectors off and spun to face Elsa.  "Did you see that?  Did you  _see that?!_ “ 

"I saw you miss,” Elsa teased.

Anna stuck her tongue out, then spun back around to the gun.  Once again Kristoff helped her get set up, and then she proceeded to fire several more rounds.  Two of them actually made it onto the outer ring of the target. 

“This is the  _best thing!_ ” she exclaimed once she’d finished.  "Seriously, Elsa, you have got to try this.“

"You know, you’re having so much fun, and I really don’t think I’ll like it that much–”

“Oh, don’t be like that.  You won’t know unless you try it, right?”

“Yeah, but–”

“And I mean  _really_  try.  Don’t just go once and then give up.”  

So much for that plan.  "I try new things,“ Elsa said defensively. 

"You have  _five copies_  of that shirt you’re wearing.”

“Oh hey, me too!” Kristoff said.  He gestured to his plain white shirt.

Elsa couldn’t tell if he was making fun of her or not, so she just decided to ignore him.  "I’ll give it a ‘real try’, okay?“  Inwardly she worried about just what that meant.  If a single shot wasn’t good enough, what would be?  Three?  Five?  

The longer Elsa kept handling guns around Kristoff, the more likely she was to get found out.  If she deliberately did an awful job shooting, then Anna would assume her dislike was tied to low skill and would insist on practicing more so that she could be successful.  And if she  _didn’t_  do terribly, well, Anna would just assume she secretly liked it no matter  _what_  Elsa said.

What she needed was for  _Anna_  to call off this whole operation.  

She stepped to the firing line and took the gun off the bench.  It took effort to not grip it properly, so that Kristoff could correct her "errors.”  The weapon was indeed fairly light.  There would be kickback, but not a huge amount. Certainly not enough to give an experienced shooter like herself trouble.  Even most newbies would be able to handle it, which was exactly why Kristoff had chosen it.

Still, if one were to hold it in  _just_  the wrong way…

Kristoff stepped back.  Elsa made minute adjustments to her grip, ignoring how  _wrong_  they felt after years of practice at, well,  _not_  holding her guns like a moron.

She took a deep breath, and fired.

_BANG!_

_Thwack!_

“FUCK!”

Her nose felt like it had exploded.  A quick check with her fingers (after setting the gun on the bench) revealed that it was certainly  _bleeding_  as though it had exploded.  She tried to determine if everything was still properly in place, but even touching it gingerly sent waves of pain radiating out across her entire face.  

It didn’t matter anyway, because an instant later Anna was batting the hand aside to look for herself.  Her brow was creased in a mixture of concentration and worry.  

Elsa started to say “I’m okay,” but as soon as she opened her mouth the blood dribbled in.  She had just enough presence of mind to turn away from Anna before spitting it back out.  "Ew.“

"Here,” Kristoff said.  He held out a gauze pad that had obviously come from a first aid kit.  Elsa reached for it, but her hand was again knocked aside.  

“Stop  _doing_  that,” she said, keeping her head tilted forward so that the blood wouldn’t run into her mouth as she did so.  Her voice sounded weird, like when she had a really bad head cold.  

Anna angled her head back up and put the gauze under her nose.  "Which of us is in med school, again? I’ll do this.“

"I think I can handle holding a thing to my face.”

Anna ignored her and went back to carefully inspecting Elsa’s nose.  "I don’t think it’s broken,“ she said after a few moments.  "You got lucky.”

“Yeah, I feel  _super lucky_.”

“I’m so sorry about this,” Kristoff said.  "I must not have been paying close enough attention.  This is all my fault.“

"No it isn’t,” she replied, even though it kind of was--just not in the way he thought.  "Stuff like this happens to me all the time.“

"If anything, it’s my fault,” Anna said.  "I should have known letting you handle a gun would end badly.  We’re probably lucky you didn’t shoot a toe off.“

Elsa glared, but didn’t say anything.  She reminded herself that this kind of reaction had been her goal.  Anna and Kristoff thinking Elsa couldn’t be trusted around guns was better than the alternative.  Even if it did mean they were now both looking at her like she was helpless.

"I  _really_  thought that recoil would be too light for you to struggle with,” Kristoff said.  Elsa felt a bit bad for the guy.  The throbbing of her not-quite-broken nose drowned that emotion pretty quickly.  "I guess it’s a good thing you’ve got all those duplicate shirts, huh?“

Elsa looked down as best she could with Anna still fussing over her face.  Her shirt was  _covered_  in red splotches.  She groaned.  

Worst week off  _ever_.


End file.
